Our first choice between the ordinary and the extraordinary

The first choice between the ordinary and the extraordinary (i.e. between freedom and security) came for us before we were even engaged. I have already mentioned how one of my greatest fears was to end up with a passive man.  It seems to me that passivity in men rears it’s ugly head the most when they are exhausted; and nothing exhausts an American man more than a tiresome job.  If a man’s using all his energy to maintain a career, he has very little left for his family, or anything else in the rest of his life.  The career IS his life…. whether he likes it or not.

When I met Scottie, he was working about 75- 80 hours a week doing very difficult, physical labor.  When your boyfriend falls asleep in the middle of 1 out of every 3 dates… you have to wonder how awake he’d be throughout a marriage.  I knew I wanted a husband who would try to meet my emotional and intellectual needs as much as he tried to meet my financial needs.  If one of those areas is unbalanced, you can’t expect the others to thrive.  So I agreed to marry Scottie, provided that he quit his job because I was getting married so I could have a HUSBAND, not a nice house.  Scottie was happy to finally have something push him to quit since he didn’t like the monotony he saw in his future any more than I did, so he did it and we found ourselves a few months out from our wedding hoping that we’d be able to figure out how to make the free coffee I got from my part time job at Starbucks, in the cardboard box house we were going to have to live in.

Well guess what, we survived being poor.  I know, money is a huge cause of conflict between couples, but I really do think it’s a different story when make the CHOICE to be poor.   We had our stress from it, and we still believe in being wise with money so we’re definitely not preaching recklessness as the moral to this story.  The point is that we chose freedom and relationships over money and we continued to make that choice time and time again over the next few years as we struggled to make ends meet… but had lots of time to have fun together in the process.  Riding your bikes through the sprinklers at midnight is WAY better than a date at the fanciest restaurant that has to be over by 7pm so you can go to bed early and get up for the job you hate the next day.  We’d discovered the beauty of choosing freedom over security (which is what living an extraordinary life means for us)… and we were never going back.

So we had survived our first choice between ordinary and extraordinary… and in a move that has been repeated many times since, we chose extraordinary.

(Thanks to Terence Young for drawing this as a visual depiction for this post. My favorite part is actually what he said about why he drew this. He said, “The thing that entered my head as I read your post is that you’ve found a relationship that sets you two apart from the rest of the world, in some way you’re on your own little planet that you’ve created.” So sweet isn’t it?!  I loved this picture even more after reading that!)

Unfortunately you don’t get to ride off one good decision for the rest of your life… you have to make new decisions every day.  We still battle the pull of comfort and security on a regular basis (just so you know we live in a small apartment in a low income neighborhood… and almost everyday I think about how much I want a house).  We still battle all our fears (the first few days in Mexico we hid in our safe condo and didn’t meet anyone or experience much of anything), and we still cringe when we know we’re about to take a risk no matter how small it is.

The bottom line is that we’re still weak, cowardly, flawed human beings who are seeking to be extraordinary.

The Discipline Of Dreaming (a project)

Most people don’t spend their days thinking about “what could be”.  And if they do, they are most likely thinking pretty small like “if I only I had enough money to get my car detailed instead of just hosed down”, or “I wish I had the time to go shopping this weekend”, or even smaller, “too bad this isn’t a white mocha with whipped cream instead of a non-fat latte”.  Yes my friends, this is what American dreaming has become!  These are the things we spend our days pining for…with a little “I wish I could go on a week long dream vacation” mixed in on particularly long Mondays.  But the kind of dreaming we’re going to start doing is the “3 wishes, genie in a lamp” kind.  I don’t care if you’re picturing a silly blonde genie who hangs out with Major Nelson, or a big blue guy that sounds an awful lot like Robin Williams… as long as your 3rd wish is to cheat and wish for more wishes, because this time you get as many as you want!

Ever since I began the “discipline of dreaming” I’ve been amazed by how incredibly hard it is! 

You’d think it’d be easy to figure out what you want in life if you could have/do/be anything!  But it’s not!  Most people can’t figure it out without putting a lot of time into it, myself included. We’re overwhelmed… either by the amount of options,  by the challenges in making them happen, or by our lack of knowledge about ourselves.  But dreaming is a necessary beginning for extraordinary living because in order to find the life you are meant to live, you need at least some idea of what’s important to you.

Your “pre-project” project.

It’s time to stop believing that the good life is for everyone else. It’s time to start finding your own good/extraordinary life. So I’m giving you a project today. But before we start I have to tell you about one of the main things that I believe will make the difference between people who will read this blog and then forget about it, versus people who will read this blog as a guide while they actually change their life. The difference?  WRITING ABOUT IT. I don’t care if you are the “writing type” or not. If you are the “person type” then when it comes to changing your life, unraveling your identity, or anything that requires any self-reflection at all (so basically everything in this blog), you will only make it so far if you don’t commit to spending a good amount of time and thought investing yourself in it.  Writing it down will help you clarify your thoughts and give you something to build on as you go. So your “pre-project” project is: Designate a place to write down everything you learn about yourself, think deeper on, or complete as a project while following Rare Existence.

Your Project.

Since (you guessed it) your project assignment is going to be to start dreaming (dream as individuals first, then together with your spouse/partner), I’m going to give you an example of what my dreaming looked like in stage 1. I think this will also make you feel better if you think you might be too lame, weird, shallow, or… sort of retarded,  to live an extraordinary life- since as you are about to see… I too am all those things.

Breanna’s dreams:
Be on Chelsea Lately (I’m not a comedian or an actress- the 2 main requirements for the show- but I’ll find a way).
Become a published author.
Have a house with a fancy guest room where people can come to feel rested.
Travel to all the major world cities (New York, London, Paris, Tokyo, Hong Kong, and Rome).
Only work 1-2 days a week for the rest of my life.
Continually audit college classes for enrichment.
Have a long-term community of people around me that I love and live life with.
Spend one day like a millionaire.
Learn to be a great multi-media artist.
Swim with dolphins (yes, even after watching “The Cove”- call me heartless, but I REALLY want to do this!).
Change someone’s life 180 degrees for the better.
Spend a day in the most beautiful garden in the world.
Own a smart fridge (if it plans recipes and grocery shops for me).
Have a good enough budget that I’ll never be in debt and always have extra to give.
Go to Disneyland at Christmas time.
Go on a romantic date in New York at Christmas time.
Raise extremely healthy (physically, emotionally, spiritually) kids.
Have a home that is seen as the “community hang out” for our friends.
Often be an “anonymous donor” when I hear of a major financial need.
Have my own art room.
Spend 1 month with my friends in Malaysia.
Learn what “healthy eating” is and stick to it for the rest of my life.
Learn fluent Spanish (8 semesters of Spanish with no memory of any of it, says this is a bigger dream than it sounds).
Be taken on surprise trips by my husband with all the details worked out ahead of time.
Host a beautiful garden party
Host an awesome rooftop party on a high rise in the middle of a downtown somewhere.
Do some public speaking from time to time.
Get my old ’66 Mustang back and keep it in good condition as a “fun weekend car”.
Stay under 130 lbs for the rest of my life (not counting pregnancy of course!)
Be a terrific influence on my grandkids and very active/involved in their lives.
Have the time to volunteer for any organization I really believe in.
Find ways of exercising that I really enjoy and stick to a regular workout schedule for life.
Make a movie with my husband.
Always have my own pretty outdoor space where I can go to find relaxation and peace.

So Your project is: Write down your dreams. If it helps, go buy that coffee mug at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf that says, “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” to drink your inspiration juice out of while working on this project (it actually did help me to think of some of this as an answer to that question).  Just write…no matter what you discover about yourself, no matter how petty you feel, and no matter how scared it makes you. If it frees you up to write the truth, I give you permission to sign someone else’s name on your list (as long as it’s not mine).

From Intellect to Action

Now it’s time to get down and dirty with the practical application.  So far I’ve been all whimsical and inspiring, while I speak in poetry and riddles trying to convince you to ethereally join the extraordinary life style.  Now I’m going to turn all real on you.  No, you can’t just continue to make changes to your thinking alone, it’s time to get started on the transformation of your day to day life.

In short, no more pretending…you can’t get away on simply agreeing with all of this on an intellectual level forever.

Trust me, I tried that, remember?  I told you how I married Scottie thinking he was so fantastic because of all of his genius philosophies and views on life. I loved that I’d found a man who believed in setting a max amount of money he needed to live on and then if he made more than that, he’d give the rest away.  I mean, that shows what a generous and unique soul he is, right? Who wouldn’t want to date a guy like that?  Until you get engaged that is and you realize that all this altruistic talk means that even though you’d never planned on being rich, if you ever did in fact find yourself there, you still couldn’t live like it.  Somehow the glamor of all his beautiful, idealistic dreams started to fade when I realized that I too was going to have to start sacrificing for them!  I can’t tell you how many conversations we had about “but what if I really, really love that $120 sweater at Anthropologie, do I still have to buy the $20 one at Target… even if we make 2 million a year?  Really?! OK, but what if we just budget enough so I can buy ALL my clothes at Anthropologie and then if I have some left over at the end of the month, we give THAT away? How much is too much to spend on a vacation… on a house… on the perfect french bulldog, etc., etc?”  Things that sound good on paper, don’t always look so hot when they’re happening before your very eyes in your very own life!

So this place I found myself in after I slipped that engagement ring on- the place where it hit me like the diamonds we may be throwing towards the orphans one day- this place where I realized that all his unorthodox and slightly dangerous views about life, now applied to my very normal and safe life.

And that’s the place where you are now.

You: “Oh wow, I love dreaming about the big picture and thinking about how beautiful and crazy all of this life stuff really is!”
Me: “OK, but how crazy and beautiful is YOUR life right now?”.
You: “Um, uh, that doesn’t really matter.  The point is that we’re on the same wave length here.”
Me: “No, the point is that you’re going to have to sack up and do something about all of this”.
You: “oh $&#**”.

Your first official assignment will come in the next post.  No throwing it out the window because you were “afraid it would self destruct”.  I’ve heard that excuse before.

 

He shook me right out of my safety net

The last post I wrote about my life left you with a very fearful and controlling Breanna.

Enter Scottie… adventurous and always challenging himself… he’s about to shake up safe Breanna!

By the time I meet Scottie, I’m in the middle of college, which means the previous 3 years of my life contained more transition in them than the previous 17 combined.  I’m also a learning girl.  Intellectual growth tends to stimulate me towards personal growth, so I really had changed a lot by the time I met him (although, unbeknownst to me, fear and control were still a major part of my life at that time).  By growth, I mean that I knew a little bit more about what I wanted in my life and since the direct result of my never ending interest in family and marriage relationships led to me pursuing my degree in that area… I’d learned a lot about what I wanted my marriage… and husband… to look like at this point.

I knew I wanted someone who would challenge me and who wouldn’t let me push him around (more like, that’s what I knew I SHOULD want).  Along came Scottie.  Scottie who scared me, pissed me off, and made me work really, really hard.  He was perfect for me.

I also knew a little about what I didn’t want by then.  The way I viewed it, there was a very common, very major enemy to a happy and fulfilling marriage: PASSIVITY.  I wanted someone active. Someone who would initiate change, who would push himself before I felt the need to prod him along, and someone who was a fighter… who would fight for our marriage, his own personal growth, and for an extraordinary life.  Scottie beat me to the punch in discussing passivity when we were dating.  He was very honest about the fact that he believes passivity is one of the greatest of enemies to almost every American man and that he was no exception to the pull of it.  But he was a fighter and he recognized the threat and fought hard against it.  That’s all I could ever ask for.

Words, words, words… I’m really good with words.  I’m really good at sounding strong and saying what I know is right.  I thank God that I knew the right words to look for in the husband application form that was in my head.  I knew what was good for me.  Unfortunately, I don’t always LIKE what’s good for me.  Putting those words (like “growth” and “hard work”) into practice is a whole other story.  Again, I knew what I SHOULD want and it all looked good on paper to me.  It just began to get a little scarier as it began to take shape in real life.

The Ordinary Word

The yin and the yang. The black and the white. The light and the dark. Perez Hilton and Vin Diesel. Our world seems to keep it’s balance through opposites. And it’s no different when it comes to extraordinary words.

For every extraordinary word there is an anti-word… an “ordinary word”.

The ordinary word is the one that sits on your other shoulder, taunting you and your goody two-shoes extraordinary word with his pitchfork, evil sneer, and sarcastic tone. I hate to tell you this, but if we’re going to pursue our extraordinary word, we have to forsake our ordinary word.
So what’s the opposite of my extraordinary word, freedom?  Are you sure you want to know…. it really sucks to hear.

The opposite of freedom is security.

Ew I know! Why does it have to be like this?  Why can’t they just be causal friends who only see each other on Christmas and Easter? At the very least they should be Facebook friends! Really guys, you should try to work something out here for those of us who don’t want to take sides. We want to hang out with BOTH of you, it isn’t fair that we have to choose!
But alas, it’s the truth. The more freedom you have, the less security you have, and vice versa.  As much as I want to stick my fingers in my ears and pretend I never heard that,  it’s true.

This is my great struggle in my pursuit of an extraordinary life.

If you’ve been following my blog from the beginning, you know that my Achilles heel is fear.  And in an attempt to fight the things I’m afraid of, control is my weapon of choice.  Fear and Control are definitely blood relatives of Security. On Christmas and Easter they all get together in Security’s giant house and eat the feast that their buddy Paycheck brought them. Freedom isn’t invited because he’s off sun-bathing in Tahiti with his friends, and besides they’d rather gossip about how foolish and irresponsible he is than actually talk to him anyways. Meanwhile, I’m just sitting at home praying for peace on earth so that we can all go enjoy Paycheck’s meal together!

This is the reason that every time I come to a crossroads in my life, a major battle ensues.  On the one hand… Freedom, waving his late bedtimes and quality relationships to tempt me.  And on the other road, Security is taking me on a tour of a beautiful new house that could be mine and reenacting for me the fictional story (that I once believed strongly) about how I can have complete control over my life.
Don’t be surprised if my head explodes from all of this one day.  And when that happens, I’m sure Freedom will just shake his head in disappointed sorrow that all of this could’ve been avoided if only I’d chosen right from the beginning.  And Security will just come and apathetically sweep up the messy remains that were once my life… which is the exact same thing he’d planned to do as soon as I joined his side anyways.

(Thanks to my brother, Paul McDaniel, who drew me this picture as a visual representation of this post!)

One of the reasons I’ve started this blog is to show people that we’re not magical, we’re not special, and we don’t have it all figured out.

I say that because people are always telling me how jealous they are of our freedom.  I do know why and I am very grateful for the benefits my job brings… because I know there are a lot of them. But it’s important that you know that we don’t have special powers. I promise, we don’t even have Spidy senses; and we definitely don’t have sticky, disgusting spider webs that shoot out of our fingertips (poor spider man got all the stupid powers).

We have the life we do because we’ve chosen it… and you can choose it too. But you WILL have to sacrifice things you may not be willing to give up. You’re going to have to leave behind your ordinary word. Maybe not right away of course,  it’s OK if you’re not ready for that.  But you’ll probably be asked to do it at some point, so steal one last kiss and start saying your goodbyes now because this train is leaving, Baby.

Ordinary people live by ordinary words. 

They can’t see past their deep-rooted fears long enough to reach for that intangible future. So they don’t.  They hold on tight to their ordinary word, often completely unaware that it is exactly what’s keeping them from clinging to their extraordinary word and the extraordinary life they’ve always wanted that comes with it. There’s a reason this existence is rare. The sacrifices are great, but the blessings from it are limitless.

Choose your words wisely.

Post #5: Your entire life in one word

Everyone has a single word that defines them.

At least that’s what Elizabeth Gilbert told me in “Eat, Pray, Love”. And the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve begun to believe her.

She begins explaining this concept by naming various cities and what their words are.  For example, New York is ACHEIVE, Los Angeles is SUCCEED, Stockholm is CONFORM, and Rome is SEX -or POWER if you’re talking about Vatican City (I’ve never been to Rome so I can neither confirm or deny these rumors).

So, do you know your word? Is it FAMILY, DEPRESSION, PLEASURE, FAITH, DEVOTION… etc, etc.? It doesn’t have to be a positive word, it only has to be true.  If your word happens to be one you don’t like then go ahead and name it, but make sure you add on to it the one you WISH was true… we’ll call that your “extraordinary word”. And that’s the one we’re going to be working on here.

So what is it? What’s your word?

I knew my word without hesitation.  When I asked Scottie his word, it didn’t surprise me that he answered with the same word without even pausing for a second.

Our word is FREEDOM. 

By freedom, I don’t mean that we lack disciple, rules, and boundaries.  I have those, I want those, and I need those.  The only difference is that I want to have a say in where to place them.  I want to set up my life so that I feel like I am always able to choose to do what I believe is best for me and my family, rather than to have an outside person or force choose for me. Time freedom, freedom from debt, emotional freedom, freedom to choose where to place my energy, freedom from addictions, freedom from unhealthy societal pressures,  freedom to choose a unique lifestyle for me and my family… all of those things (and many others) are small parts that go into this bigger picture of freedom for us. The last thing we want in the world is to end up in a place where all our decisions about those things have been made for us – without any regard to whether or not they are good for us – because we were too passive to care or too lazy to act.

We believe it’s our responsibility to make the rules for our life and that we shouldn’t rely on anyone else to do it for us; not society, the government, social norms, family pressures, etc., etc. It’s our job and if we choose not to do it, we have no one to blame for the results but ourselves.

 

Why is this level of freedom so important to us? Because we got tired of being hypocrites.

We continually found ourselves saying what was important to us, only to look around and see that our lives didn’t reflect those things at all.

“Relationships are our #1 priority.” Oh really? Is that why all you know more about the characters on the TV shows you watch while you work than you do about your best friends?

“Our marriage is our #1 priority.” Oh really? Is that why you just called your wife a Fatty-McButter Pants after a stressful day at the office?

“Helping others is our #1 priority.” Oh really? And the last time you did anything like that was….? It doesn’t count that you gave the neighbor kid a quarter because he was short for change at the soda machine.

I got so tired of feeling like I “had” to do things a certain way, because those certain ways made me feel like I was unable to do what was really important in life. So I started looking around to see if I could find other ways to do things. And I found that the answer was to seek freedom because that will be what enables us to do our best at what’s really important to us.  Things like, creating and maintaining community, being generous with any kind of resource we have (whether it’s money, love, knowledge, hospitality, etc.), living a healthy lifestyle (we still have a LONG way to go on this one!), traveling, pursuing our passions, loving endlessly, and experiencing overwhelming joy and beauty in life.  That is an extraordinary life for us, and the key to all of this (in a really long and complex way that is too much to explain in one post) is freedom. So freedom we shall seek.

So what is it? What’s your word?

Post #2: I always sat up straight and ate all my broccoli

Hi, nice to meet you.  We’re still kind of strangers but we’re about to get intimate really quick.  The kind of stranger intimacy that only happens when you are thrown together by a chance tragedy with a group of unlikely strangers and are forced to team up to stay alive (movies don’t lie right?).

The point is, if we’re about to embark on this journey of extraordinary living together, it might help to have a little “first day of school getting to know you” kind of time. The future direction I’m headed towards might make a little more sense if you know about the past I came from. So here’s my story.

Oh and one more thing before we get started…just so you know, a lot of the stuff I’m about to tell you about my life is old news. I wrote these first posts over a year ago in my beginning preparations for this blog and my life has already made significant leaps towards the extraordinary since then. But too bad, I’m going to make you sit in suspense for awhile and you’ll just have to keep reading Rare Existence to find out what happens to bring me to the point I’m at right now! Secrets, secrets, secrets!

So here goes…

I grew up with very little change in my life.  The timeline of my childhood probably has like 2 lines on it (and one of those lines is my birth).  I went to the same church from birth until high school and that church was also the school I went to from pre-school until 8th grade.  My dad was heavily involved in leadership at that church and my mom went from being on staff at the school to being on staff at the church.  So basically my entire life took place on the same church/school campus until I was 14.  Oh and let’s not forget the fact that I lived in the same house from 2 years old to 22 years old (when I got married) and that I still have yet to ever live in another state or city (I’ve been in the Phoenix area my entire life). I told you, that timeline is steady and straight! Eventually I stopped going to that church and I went to a public high school, community college, and then on to Arizona State University.  I graduated from ASU and went on to pursue a master’s degree in counseling (which I didn’t finish and is on indefinite hold).  My parents are still married, I’ve never lost anyone close to me, and my entire extended family still all lives nearby.

You can see that my life in a nutshell equals very little change.

When you don’t have any major transitions, trauma’s, or tragedies until high school (and still very few then), you grow up viewing life a certain way.  And for me, that life was marred by a constant fear of what happens when things DO change and when tragedy DOES strike!  I know it’s ridiculous and you can call me a pessimist, but while I was able to enjoy my easy going life (I am still SO grateful for it!), I also felt extremely guilty and had a lot of fear of the unknown.

This fear of the unknown, quickly transformed into me trying to prevent anything unplanned, or unapproved from entering into my life.

If you want to get right down to it (and I do, because this blog is about honesty), I became very controlling.  I believed I could control my world and the people in my world… so that everything could go how I wanted it to and I could remain happy always. The good thing that came from my young fearful state is that I was so afraid of getting into trouble that I always followed the rules and was protected from some of those life changes consequences that the after school specials warned me about. The down side to this is that it definitely fed my view that if I was “good” enough I could keep full control over my life and keep anything bad out.

I guess that’s the view you develop when everything does go your way for a really long time.  I’d never been confronted by the force of nature or by seemingly random acts of God.  So I started to believe I was the god of my own little universe.

While I never experienced a major force outside of my control, I did finally come face to face with a PERSON I couldn’t control (by the way I didn’t control my parents, but I didn’t need to try because my obedience led to very little conflict between us).  My husband was not about to let me control HIS world and mine!  So thanks to God knowing the kind of person I needed to marry more than I even did, I ended up being forced to confront the fake little reality I’d created and sat comfortably in for so long and instead step out and begin to take a few risks in my life.

If this were an after school special, it would end with a super dramatic chord progression and “… to be continued” written across the bottom of the screen.

Post #1: Epic journey’s are not just for hobbits

This blog is going to be epic. See, even the first sentence is pretty epic!  I considered starting off humble or humorously self-deprecating in a lovable Liz Lemon sort of way, but I prefer to be honest.  The fact is, I think we’re going to rock it up in here. Let’s just say, if this blog isn’t epic (which is not a problem we have to worry about, I’m telling you) then I’ve wasted the last year that I’ve spent writing and preparing for it… and possibly much more of my life if the entire concept is weak because I’ve been working from this particular world view long before I started writing about it.

Since living a “Rare Existence” and practicing “Extraordinary Living” is by definition the exact opposite of living in a way that is common and ordinary, you obviously can’t have a definition that is common or ordinary. Each person’s definition for it is unique. So no, you can’t just figure yours out by observing what others are doing or by writing the right answers on your arm (cheaters), it’s much more complicated than that and definitely requires you to wear your thinking caps as a permanent accessory (mine’s in black, so it goes with everything).

This is where most people (average Joes) stop… and where you (the rare and extraordinary) keep going.

Everyone knows what they DON’T want to do in life -and ironically it’s usually exactly what they ARE doing-but very few people know what they DO want to do in life.  The really ridiculous part is that when people finally get out of what they know they don’t want to do in life, they usually panic and scramble to get back into what they just got out of because they don’t know what else to do. How many people do you know who used every ounce of energy to get to retirement, only to take on a new job as soon as they get there? Exactly.

Extraordinary living isn’t all about what job you have, but my point is that it’s time we put in the energy and effort needed to really figure this stuff out before we find ourselves with a great opportunity to change, only to waste it by returning to the familiar and comfortable ways that we were so miserable in. Even more importantly, lets figure this out BEFORE we reach the age of retirement and realize that we wasted our whole lives being miserable or not doing what we were meant to be doing!

My purpose here is to help you identify what you DO want to do and to give you the tools and support you need to actually do it.

This is bigger than your career choice, or any individual choice you make for that matter. It’s bigger than day to day habits or schedule; bigger than all your ideas, decisions, and views… because it’s all those things put together. It’s everything that makes up you, being used with intention for the bigger picture. It’s the opposite of passivity. It’s living a life of purpose. A purpose that is decided based on who you are as an individual, as a member of your family, as a friend, in your community, and in the world.

Though the specifics of our definitions of extraordinary living will vary (remember, unique snowflakes), I want to have a common starting point for us all that we can use as a base to build our own specifics onto.

“Extraordinary Living” means living the life you are meant to live regardless of risk, difficulty, opinion of others, weaknesses, or failures.  This involves knowing yourself WELL, pursuing your passions, overcoming your fears, and working hard at all you do.

These are the kinds of things we’ll be working on together if you’re choose to embark on this with me. I know…it sounds really hard. It is. But it’s totally worth it. And it’s something we all need lots of support to do. Which is why I’m here and hoping you’ll be here for me too.

Part of my personal definition of extraordinary living involves living in community and sharing my life with others. So as my husband, Scottie, and I seek to discover what an extraordinary life looks like for us, as individuals and a couple, it is completely necessary that I involve like minded souls (or at least people who are just curious and are destined to become like minded souls) in my/our personal journey.

Plug your nose and hold your breath… we’re going in… together.